All The Things You Never Said

To my laundromat,
I'd really appreciate it if you would leave the spare change in the pockets of my coat.

To my sister,
I ate your sandwich. I'm sorry about the fight it caused, but I'm not sorry for eating it.

To the boys who always talk sports,
I don't know why overtime is exciting. To me it just seems like a convenient way to draw out disappointments.

To Mr. Nelson,
I get nervous when you don't comment on my blog.

To Peter,
You left your Bon Iver CD in my car again. I hate Bon Iver.

To that guy I work with who kind of likes me,
Today I worked an 8 hour shift. You didn't come in at all. It was endless.

To my friend that's always trying,
I didn't pick up the phone when you called that one time because I had just gotten in bed and my feet were cold.

To my neighbor,
Your breath always smells horrible.

To the hipsters at school,
For some reason, I thought buying a flannel shirt would make it okay for me to eat with you all at lunch.

To my manager,
I was flattered when you told me I was pretty, but I got confused when you said I should use that to sell more merchandise to men.

To the man who watched us pack,
I hope the pizza wasn't too gross. I'm sorry I gave you the old slice.

To Ella Fitzgerald,
You help me fall asleep sometimes.

To my dad,
I heard McDonald's is hiring. You should apply.