This Is Not A Victory March.

"It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."
--Leonard Cohen


This is going to be funny.
This is going to make you cry.
This will make you want to go out and volunteer at a soup kitchen.
This will change the world.
This is everything you wish you were.
And everything you wish you weren't.

This is everything.
This is nothing.

This is never knowing what the square root of negative pi is.
This is cat sitting for someone who only has dogs.
This is eating a hamburger in front of a vegetarian.
This is a vegetarian asking for a bite.
And this is a cow that kills a vegetarian.

This is what darkness brings with creaking floor boards and stuffy attics.
This is what the inside of a brain looks like after rehab and what happens after a hangover, and all the things you wish you said.

This is your favorite song on the radio with the car roof down and the freeway unlimited.

But this is not a love song.

This is a punch in the face and a bucket of cold water on your head.
This is walking outside to find the ground covered by snow in the middle of June.
This is a crack on the last thing your dad gave you.
A crack on the one thing you saved from the fire.

And this is a fire.
And this is what started the fire.
And this is what told the fire that it was fire and that fire is not anybody's friend.
And this is what the fire destroyed.

This... this is your mom taking a trip to Canada and never coming back.
This is waiting for your dad to get out of bed.  
This is using your Christmas bonus to buy your little sister shoes that don't rip.
This is becoming an adult way before you were supposed to.

And I know this wasn't funny.
And this didn't make you cry.
And this didn't even come close to changing the world.


But this is everything I am.
And this is all I'll ever know.