How To Understand Humans From A Cynical Lecture Given By An Older Sibling.

Elenore, little Ella.

 Ella, listen close.  
I'll only say it once.
You've got the short end of the stick, and it's looking pretty stunned.

Listen to this... this is what we're told.  And this is what we say.  It's a part of who we are, as humans, as prey.

Let me look you in the skin and say you're special, you're what matters.  But if I'm going up there, I'll use your face as a ladder. So fool, make your choice, stay in here and be used or leave and lose your voice.  Choose, but it doesn't matter 
Because in the end there's always someone with a story that is sadder.

So let's gather round the fire and have a friendly competition.  You tell me about your abusive dad, I'll tell you about my addiction.  And it will keep going like that until the fire dies out and the sun burns down, and I'll be wondering how I can feel too much, yet it's never quite enough, and it doesn't matter what I do or say because I'm not someone you can trust.  Because every word you've told me, every syllable of fear, I've put away in my mind and I'll use it in the next year.
'Cause what an actress does comes from what an actress hears, and you're not acting at all, but I am... so Cheers.
Cheers to the men who always win, and cheers to those that fight them in vain.  Cheers to the unlit neon signs in nowhere town saloons and cheers to the women who think their broken nails are pain.

Well, I'm done.  I'm going and you'll have to forgive me
Because I'm not exactly coming back, and I'm throwing out our history.
So tell my grandma that I love her, but she's stuck in the past 
And tell my father that he's worth it, but his mind is going fast.  
And take dear Ella and tuck her in tight in her bed, I really don't want this world to get inside her head.

Remember that night when all we heard was yelling, and I looked to you and smiled, said the world is probably ending.  You stared through me in response and couldn't see anything but the strangled faces of the people you called heroes.  It scared you bad, and I felt sorry.  But it was quickly replaced with worry, for you were so very little and I had no real words.  I just led you to the one room house where we'd sit on straw and eat other people's food.  
No time passed in life.
Dad promised that we'd sing another song about this strife.
But later...
But I still often think about how the rain hits the tents with as much anger as it does the castles.

I never thought that the faces in Ghiradelli Square would be present again, yet here they wait all around for the same bowl, laughing with a different nose on.  I find them captivating and bewildering, and they hold no thought for me.  
So talk to the director and step aside, because I'm really in your way.  
You've taken from me, so I'll take from him, and that will keep me safe.
I've got pieces to glue back together now, and Ella you cannot stay.

I'm telling you now that you have to be what you came here for.  I overheard you sing and grandpa telling you to stop.  He said you can't raise a family under a magnifying glass, people speculating your moves and your thoughts.
But you're better.
You're not a Martha or a Betty or a Sarah shops at SmartMart. 
You're Ella.

You're You.

And it's true that you cannot see yet the things that transpire under trench coats and manicured hands, but the day will come when you face your 193rd million second of lies... and it will all fall into place.
The dam I've built you collapses.
And you're not here anymore.

I want you to hear the praises our father leaves behind on the pew.  I want you to find beauty in a bowl of sugar in the kitchen in the spring.  I want you to take pictures of people with their backs turn to the camera and I want you to greet the mailman that brings you bills.

I want you to love what you see, and see what you hate.
That is the thing I've been trying to tell you, Ella.
Because I love you so.

All my love,
Charlotte.